June 13, 2015 by helenwaldron
“What a bummer!”
“Don’t say that, Deborah. We’re online.”
“Someone will complain. What’s the matter, anyway?”
“Oh, I was just thinking about words again, and I thought of a couple that should exist. I was hoping we could write a blog post about it or something. And then I googled them just to make sure. And they do exist. Which harmless swearwords am I allowed to use, then?”
“None,” said Speakeasy. “The internet is the new Daily Mail. If somebody wants to be offended by something they do it online nowadays. And what are the words?”
“Well, is it worth it now? I feel like I’ve been gazumped.”
“Gazumping,” (explained Speakeasy for the benefit of any readers unfamiliar with the term), “is a term used in countries with a buoyant housing market, and it refers to the practice of accepting an oral agreement to buy a property and then selling it to somebody willing to offer more money.”
“But what I mean,” (went on Deborah) “is that I thought I’d done something, but found out that it had already been done.”
Speakeasy looked at her quizzically.
“They were internet words. I’ve been taking your advice and trying to use social media more.”
“Spill the beans,” said Speakeasy.
“Exactly. Postbombing is when you post an article in every LinkedIn group you’ve joined in the hope that someone will notice you. And threadbombing is when some Facebook friend’s discussion appears in your timeline and you join in. And then you notice that you’re not welcome. You can feel this virtual mood of, like, do we know this person?”
“Happens to me all the time”, laughed Speakeasy. “Just because they’re your Facebook friends and they post things publicly, it doesn’t mean you’re permitted to join in the discussion.”
He pulled a face.
“Or does it?”
Speakeasy began to ponder the niceties of social media etiquette for so long that Deborah began to worry that he had forgotten her.
“But they already exist,” (she prompted) “these two words, with different meanings.”
Speakeasy pulled out his phone and consulted Urbandictionary.com.
“I like your meanings better”, he decided.
“I tell you what. Let’s use your new words with your meanings as often as we can and get as many people as possible to understand them. If people start using these words with your meanings, then the meaning of the word changes and you’re right! Gz!”
“Is GEZ that organization that charges me for using the internet?” Deborah looked anxious.
“No,” smiled Speakeasy. “Gz is new gaming slang for “congratulations”!”